Spelling Puns

Homophones

I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.
The duck said to the bartender, 'Put it on my bill!'
I wanted to be a doctor, but I couldn't find the right patients.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
I used to be a librarian, but I couldn't find the right shelf for my books.
When I get a headache, I take it to the ibuprofen store.
I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
The mathematician’s plants stopped growing; he had problems with his square roots.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough bread.
I wanted to be a chef, but I couldn't handle the heat.
The bicycle couldn't stand up by itself; it was two-tired.
I can't believe I got fired from the donut factory. I kept throwing out the glaze!
I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already!
I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
I went to buy some camo pants, but couldn’t find any.
A will is a dead giveaway.
I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint!

I told my computer I needed a break, and now it’s gone on a holiday.
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
I’d tell you a chemistry joke, but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.
I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already!
I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!
I told my friend 10 jokes to make him laugh. Sadly, no pun in ten did.
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.
I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
The man who survived both mustard gas and pepper spray is a seasoned veteran.
I got fired from my job at the calendar factory. I took a day off!
The guy who invented Lifesavers candy made a mint.
I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
I wanted to be a doctor, but I couldn't find the right patients.
I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.
I went to buy some camo pants, but couldn’t find any.
A will is a dead giveaway.
I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it!

I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
I told my computer I needed a break, and now it’s gone on a holiday.
I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
The bicycle couldn't stand up by itself; it was two-tired.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough bread.
I’d tell you a chemistry joke, but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.
The man who survived both mustard gas and pepper spray is a seasoned veteran.
I wanted to be a doctor, but I couldn't find the right patients.
The math book was sad because it had too many problems.
I got fired from my job at the calendar factory. I took a day off!
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it!
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
The guy who invented Lifesavers candy made a mint.
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already!
I told my friend 10 jokes to make him laugh. Sadly, no pun in ten did.

I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.
The duck said to the bartender, 'Put it on my bill!'
I told my friend 10 jokes to make him laugh. Sadly, no pun in ten did.
I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
I wanted to be a doctor, but I couldn't find the right patients.
The bicycle couldn't stand up by itself; it was two-tired.
I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
The guy who invented Lifesavers candy made a mint.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already!
A will is a dead giveaway.
The man who survived both mustard gas and pepper spray is a seasoned veteran.
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
I went to buy some camo pants, but couldn’t find any.
I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.
The math book was sad because it had too many problems.
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it!
I got fired from my job at the calendar factory. I took a day off!
I’d tell you a chemistry joke, but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.

I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
I wanted to be a doctor, but I couldn't find the right patients.
The bicycle couldn't stand up by itself; it was two-tired.
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
A will is a dead giveaway.
The man who survived both mustard gas and pepper spray is a seasoned veteran.
I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already!
I got fired from my job at the calendar factory. I took a day off!
I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.
The guy who invented Lifesavers candy made a mint.
I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it!
I told my friend 10 jokes to make him laugh. Sadly, no pun in ten did.
I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
The math book was sad because it had too many problems.
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
The duck said to the bartender, 'Put it on my bill!'
I’d tell you a chemistry joke, but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.