Sleep Puns

Dreams

I had a dream about a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted.
I dreamed I was a butterfly. Now I'm trying to figure out if I’m a man dreaming I’m a butterfly or a butterfly dreaming I’m a man.
I had a dream I was a banker. I woke up with a lot of interest.
My dreams are like my socks—they come in pairs.
I dreamt I was a pillow. I woke up feeling stuffed.
Last night, I dreamed about a giant donut. I woke up feeling glazed.
I had a dream I was a snowman. I woke up feeling a bit frosty.
I dreamed I was a chef, but I couldn't find my thyme.
I had a dream I was a calendar. I woke up with a lot of dates.
I had a dream I was in a band. I woke up with a lot of fans.
I dreamed I was in a world made of chocolate. I woke up craving dessert.
I had a dream I was a clock. I woke up feeling ticked off.
I dreamt I was a magician but I couldn't pull my act together.
I had a dream I was a detective. I woke up with too many cases.
I dreamed I was a mattress. I woke up feeling a bit flat.
I dreamt I was a light bulb. I woke up feeling bright.
I had a dream I was a gardener. I woke up feeling a bit rooted.
I dreamt I was in a race. I woke up feeling like I lost.
I had a dream I was a superhero. I woke up feeling like I could fly.
I dreamt I was a fish. I woke up feeling a little hooked.
I had a dream I was a book. I woke up feeling a bit novel.

Why did the bed break up with the mattress? It found someone more supportive.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down, just like my bed.
I tried to start a band called 'The Sleeping Bags,' but we just couldn't get up for it.
The bed told me to relax, but it had too much on its plate.
My bed and I are in a committed relationship. It’s a real mattress match.
Why did the bed get promoted? It always knew how to hold its own.
The mattress said it was feeling down, so I told it to bounce back.
I told my bed it was time for a change, but it just wanted to lay low.
Why did the bed get a job? It wanted to support its family.
I broke up with my bed. It was too clingy.
Ever tried sleeping on a trampoline? It's a real bounce back!
I told my bed I needed space, but it just wouldn’t budge.
Why did the blanket apply for a job? It wanted to cover more ground.
My bed is like a lawyer; it always wants to settle.
I got a new bed and it’s so comfy, it’s hard to get out of a relationship.
The bed said I should stop taking it for granted; I said I was just resting on my laurels.
Why did the pillow get promoted? It always had a cushion for the pushin'.
I made a bed out of a trampoline; it has its ups and downs.
I told my bed a joke, but it just didn’t have the springs for it.
Why do beds never get lost? They always know where they lie.
I tried to make my bed laugh, but it just laid there.

I decided to turn my sleep habits into a hobby; I call it 'resting arts.'
I have a habit of counting sheep, but they keep jumping the fence.
Why do sleep habits make bad comedians? They always flop.
I tried to change my sleep habits, but I kept hitting the snooze button.
I told my friend I was working on my sleep habits; they said I should just go to bed.
I have a very strict sleep habit; I never count on waking up on time.
Why did the pillow get a sleep coach? It wanted to fluff up its habits.
My sleep habits are like a rollercoaster; they have their ups and downs.
I told my doctor about my sleep habits; he said they were a bit too dreamy.
I tried to write a book about sleep habits, but I kept dozing off.
Why don’t sleep habits ever get in trouble? They always stay in bed.
I have a habit of dreaming big; I just need to fall asleep first.
I told my sleep habits to relax, but they just kept tossing and turning.
Why do my sleep habits never get along? They’re always fighting for space.
I tried to break my sleep habits, but they just kept coming back.
I have a habit of napping during the day; it’s my little secret.
I told my bed about my sleep habits; it said I should really sleep on it.
Why do sleep habits make great partners? They always know how to cuddle.
I tried to improve my sleep habits by reading, but I fell asleep instead.
I have a habit of staying up late; it’s my way of living on the edge.
I told my sleep habits I needed a change; they just said to lie down.

Why are sloths such good nappers? They really know how to take it slow.
I saw a bear sleeping in the woods; I guess you could say it was hibernating.
Why do cats love to sleep so much? They’re just purr-fect at it.
I asked my dog why it sleeps so much; it said it’s in a pawsitive state of mind.
Why did the owl get a job? It wanted to be awake during the night shift.
I told my pet goldfish to wake up, but it just swam around in circles.
Why do koalas sleep so much? They just can’t eucalypt it!
I saw a hedgehog take a nap; it was really feeling prickly about waking up.
Why do lions sleep a lot? They're always the kings of the jungle catnap!
I heard a rumor that dolphins can sleep with one eye open; talk about a fishy tale.
Why are rabbits such good sleepers? They hop right into bed.
I asked a tortoise why it takes so long to wake up; it said it’s never in a hurry.
Why do polar bears always look so tired? They’re always in a chill mood.
I saw a sleepy kangaroo; it just wanted to hop back into bed.
Why did the cat get a job at the sleep clinic? It was a natural at cat naps.
I saw a sleeping bird; I guess you could say it was winging it.
Why do owls never get stressed? They just take it one hoot at a time.
I told my rabbit to get out of bed; it just said, 'I need my beauty carrot.'
Why do dogs sleep so well? They always have a bark-tastic dream.
I saw a sleepy elephant; it was really just trunk-ing out.
Why did the zebra take a nap? It wanted to dream in black and white.