Scared Puns

Haunted House Puns

Why did the ghost go to the party? Because he heard it was going to be a boo-tiful night!
I told my ghost friend to stop being so transparent, but he just vanished!
What do you call a haunted chicken? A poultry-geist!
Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? He had no body to go with him!
I was going to tell a scary story, but I lost my train of thought and it ghosted me.
What did the ghost say to the bee? Boo-bee!
Did you hear about the haunted elevator? It has its ups and downs!
Why did the vampire break up with his girlfriend? She wasn't his type!
What do you call a monster who poisons people? A grave-tender!
Why don't mummies take vacations? They're afraid they'll relax and unwind!
What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? Boo-berry pie!
Why did the headless horseman get a job? He needed to make some dough!
What do you call a witch who lives at the beach? A sand-witch!
Why was the ghost a bad liar? You could see right through him!
What do you call a room full of ghosts? A boo-tique!
Why did the zombie go to school? He wanted to improve his dead-ucation!
What did one ghost say to another? Do you believe in people?
Why did Dracula become a vegetarian? Because biting necks was just too bloody!
What do ghosts wear at the beach? Boo-kini!
Why did the skeleton climb the tree? To see the other side!
What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A necktarine!
Why did the ghost break up with his girlfriend? She was too clingy!

What do you call a cleaning skeleton? The grim sweeper!
Why are ghosts such bad liars? Because you can see right through them!
What’s a ghost’s favorite ride at the amusement park? The roller-ghoster!
Why did the pumpkin come to the party? Because it heard it was going to be gourd-geous!
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
What do you call a witch’s garage? A broom closet!
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
What’s a ghost’s favorite instrument? The boo-clarinet!
Why did the ghost go to the bar? For the boos!
What do you call a monster that loves to dance? The boogieman!
Why did the vampire get a job? He needed to make a living!
What kind of music do mummies listen to? Wrap music!
What did the ghost say to the bee? Buzz off!
Why did the witch get a job? She wanted to make some spell-cash!
What do you call a haunted chicken? A poultry-geist!
What did the mummy wear to the party? A wrap dress!
Why did the ghost break up with his girlfriend? She had too many ex-issues!
What’s a vampire’s favorite type of dessert? A blood orange sorbet!
Why did the monster eat the lamp? He wanted a light snack!
What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? A hoblin!

Why are spiders great at making friends? They know how to web their way into your heart!
What do you call a bat that’s good at math? A mathbat!
What do you call a snake that works for the government? A civil serpent!
Why did the spider go to school? To improve his web design!
What do you call a monster who loves to bake? A cookie monster!
Why was the bee so productive? Because he was always buzzing with ideas!
What do you call a fish that practices medicine? A sturgeon!
Why did the crab never share? Because he was shellfish!
What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A necktarine!
Why did the tortoise get a job? He wanted to make some shell-money!
What do you call a group of musical ghosts? A boo-chestra!
Why did the owl get a promotion? Because he was outstanding in his field!
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
Why did the octopus cross the road? To get to the other tide!
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
Why did the frog take the bus to work? His car got toad away!
What do you call a cat that loves to bowl? An alley cat!
Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they’d be bagels!
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
Why did the mosquito buy a car? He wanted to drive you buggy!
What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping? A dino-snore!

What’s a ghost’s favorite meal? Spookgetti!
Why did the monster eat the candle? He wanted some light snacks!
What do you call a haunted hamburger? A boo-burger!
Why do ghosts love to eat? Because it’s the only time they can have a hauntingly good time!
What do you call a skeleton that tells jokes? A funny bone!
Why did the pumpkin pie go to the party? Because it was a little slice of heaven!
What’s a vampire’s favorite drink? A blood orange smoothie!
What do you call a witch’s favorite dessert? A broom-berry pie!
Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crummy!
What’s a mummy’s favorite snack? A wrap!
Why do vampires always seem sick? Because they’re always coffin!
What do you call a ghost’s favorite bread? A boo-gel!
Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue? To get another rib!
What’s a ghost’s favorite vegetable? Squash!
What do you call a witch’s favorite coffee? A brew-tiful blend!
Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? Because it ran out of juice!
What’s a zombie’s favorite snack? Risen bread!
Why did the monster order dessert? He had a sweet tooth!
What do you call pasta that’s been haunted? Spook-ghetti!
Why did the apple stop in the middle of the road? Because it ran out of juice!
What do ghosts put on their bagels? Boo-cream cheese!

Why did the ghost use social media? To keep in touch with the living!
What do you call a ghost that’s good at coding? A boo-t programmer!
Why don’t ghosts use the internet? They can’t handle the bandwidth!
What’s a zombie’s favorite app? Deadbook!
Why did the witch get a smartphone? She wanted to cast spells on the go!
What do you call a ghost’s favorite website? Boo-tube!
Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open!
What do you call a haunted computer? A boo-ot!
Why did the vampire always carry a laptop? He needed to work on his bite-sized projects!
What do you call a witch who is a tech expert? A spell-checker!
Why did the ghost break up with his laptop? It just wasn’t his type anymore!
What’s a mummy’s favorite tech device? An iWrap!
Why did the skeleton go online? To find a body!
What did the ghost say to the computer? You’ve got me in a frightful loop!
Why did the zombie refuse to use apps? He preferred to go old school!
What do you call a ghost that works in tech support? A boo-t tech!
Why did the monster love his tablet? It was frightfully portable!
What’s a vampire’s favorite social media? Insta-bite!
Why did the ghost get fired from his job? He kept disappearing!
What do you call a witch with a laptop? A spell-checker!
Why did the mummy start a blog? He wanted to share his wrappings!