Pun Puns

Food Puns

  • Lettuce turnip the beet!
  • I donut care.
  • You mac me smile.
  • I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
  • Orange you glad I didn't say banana?
  • I relish the thought of a good pun.
  • This taco is nacho average snack.
  • I would tell you a joke about pizza, but it's too cheesy.
  • Bakers gonna bake.
  • I can't espresso how much you bean to me.
  • You're the apple of my eye.
  • I carrot about you.
  • I’m a real catch, just ask my fish friend.
  • I’m soy into you.
  • Don’t go bacon my heart.
  • This is un-beet-able!
  • You’re the jam to my bread.
  • I’m feeling saucy today.
  • I loaf you.
  • You’re berry special.
  • I’m a little chili today.

Animal Puns

  • What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
  • Why did the cow go to outer space? To see the moooon!
  • I'm not lion when I say you're pawsitively amazing.
  • What do you call an alligator in a vest? An in-vest-igator!
  • The duck said to the bartender, 'Put it on my bill.'
  • You otter know how much I like you.
  • I’m not kitten around, you’re the cat’s meow!
  • The penguin didn’t like the steak, it was too fishy!
  • You’ve got to be kitten me right meow.
  • I can’t believe it’s not butter, it’s a spread cat!
  • What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!
  • I'm feline good today.
  • What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
  • You’re a real hoot!
  • The dog said to the cat, 'You’re purrfect!'
  • Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks!
  • What did the fish say when he hit the wall? Dam!
  • Don’t be such a chicken!
  • I’m just a little quackers.
  • The bee said to the flower, 'Honey, you’re sweet!'
  • What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!

Seasonal Puns

  • Autumn leaves are falling for you.
  • I'm feeling berry festive this spring!
  • Winter is snow joke.
  • I'm on a roll this summer.
  • You make my heart melt like ice cream on a hot day.
  • I love you to the beach and back.
  • It's un-frog-gettable how much I adore spring!
  • You're the pumpkin to my spice.
  • I’m just here for the s'more-ing.
  • Fall for me, it’s a-peeling.
  • It's a flurry of good times!
  • Let’s make snow memories together!
  • You’ve got me feeling all warm and cozy.
  • I’m not leafing you behind.
  • You’re my sunshine on a cloudy day.
  • I’m totally in hibernation mode.
  • I love you more than hot cocoa!
  • We’re snow much fun together.
  • You’re the snow to my man.
  • Let’s taco ‘bout the summer vibes!
  • I’m all about that autumn vibe.

Technology Puns

  • I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me cookies.
  • I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough!
  • Why did the computer go to therapy? It had too many bytes!
  • I’m in a relationship with my WiFi; we have great connection.
  • My computer is a great listener; it has a lot of RAM!
  • Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open.
  • I wanted to learn how to use a computer, but I didn’t have the drive.
  • I’m reading a book on anti-gravity; it’s impossible to put down!
  • I have a joke about UDP, but you might not get it!
  • I would make a joke about an elevator, but it’s an uplifting experience.
  • What did the computer say to the programmer? You byte my code!
  • I’m really good with technology; I always find the right connections.
  • My website’s down, so I guess I’m offline.
  • I love my smartphone; it’s always so in touch!
  • Have you heard about the new restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere!
  • My computer has a great personality, but it’s very hard to get to know.
  • I’m not arguing, I’m just debugging.
  • What do you call a computer that sings? A Dell!
  • I told my laptop it was getting old; it crashed in response.
  • I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough to keep up with technology.
  • I’m a real data-enthusiast!

Everyday Life Puns

  • I’m reading a book about anti-gravity; it’s impossible to put down!
  • I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
  • I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
  • When life gives you lemons, make lemonade... and then find someone whose life has given them vodka.
  • I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high; she looked surprised!
  • I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
  • I’m on a whiskey diet; I’ve lost three days already.
  • I don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something.
  • I’m trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me!
  • I’m reading a book on reverse psychology; don’t bother!
  • I have a fear of elevators, but I’m taking steps to avoid it.
  • What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!
  • I told my friend 10 jokes to get him to laugh; sadly, no pun in ten did.
  • I used to be a velcro salesman, but I couldn’t find a good hook.
  • I’m a huge fan of wind turbines; they’re just so riveting!
  • I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it.
  • I’m on a seafood diet; I see food and I eat it!
  • The guy who invented Lifesavers candy made it big; he got a mint.
  • I wanted to be a doctor, but I didn’t have the patients.
  • I get my exercise acting as a pallbearer; I’m always pushing up daisies.
  • I’m a big fan of whiteboards; they’re re-markable!