Physics Puns

Classical Mechanics

I told my friend 10 jokes about gravity, but he found them all a bit heavy.
Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher? There was no chemistry.
I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it.
Why can’t you trust an atom? Because they make up everything!
When you’re in physics class, you have to stay grounded.
I used to be a physicist, but I lost my momentum.
What did the physicist say when he found two isotopes of helium? HeHe!
Why did the physicist go to the beach? To catch some waves!
Physics is like a relationship: sometimes you just need to apply a little force.
I wanted to be a physicist, but I couldn’t handle the pressure.
What’s a physicist’s favorite place to hang out? The particle accelerator!
I started a band called 1023MB. We haven’t got a gig yet.
What do physicists say when they’re stressed? 'I need to decompress!'
I tried to measure the speed of light in my car. It was a real drive-through experience!
Why did the electron break up with the proton? It found someone more positive!
My physics teacher said I had potential. I didn’t know how to respond!
I can’t trust my friends who are physicists; they always have ulterior motives.
I lost my physics notes, but it’s not a huge loss. They were just a matter of time.
When I see a physics pun, I can’t resist. It’s my gravitational pull!
Why are physicists bad at playing hide and seek? Because good luck hiding from the laws of motion!

Thermodynamics

I’m reading a book on thermodynamics. It’s really heating up!
Why did the physicist bring a ladder to the bar? To reach new heights of energy!
I told my friend I was studying thermodynamics. He said, 'That sounds cool!'
I tried to explain thermodynamics to my cat. It was a real cat-astrophe.
Why do thermodynamicists love nature? Because it’s a hot topic!
I wanted to make a pun about entropy, but it just got out of control.
What do you call an optimistic thermodynamicist? A heatwave!
I asked my friend if he understood thermodynamics. He said, 'Not really, but I’m warming up to it!'
What did the hot air say to the cold air? 'You’re bringing me down!'
Why did the scientist break up with his girlfriend? There was no heat in the relationship!
I’m not saying I’m a thermodynamics expert, but I can definitely feel the heat.
Why do thermodynamicists never play cards? They can’t handle the pressure!
I wanted to tell a joke about heat engines, but it just fizzled out.
What did the physicist say to the ice cube? 'You’re so cool!'
Thermodynamics is all about keeping your cool under pressure.
Why did the ice cream go to school? To get a little cooler!
I’ve got a friend who’s a thermodynamicist; he always knows how to raise the temperature!
What’s a thermodynamicist’s favorite game? Freeze tag!
I tried to make a joke about absolute zero, but it fell flat.
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged and was steaming mad!
I told my friend that I was studying thermodynamics. He said, 'That sounds hot!'

Quantum Physics

Why can’t you trust an atom? Because they’re always up to something!
I tried to understand quantum physics, but it was all over my head.
I told my quantum physics friend a joke, but he didn’t get it until I measured his reaction.
You know what they say about quantum physicists? They have their own wave of thinking!
I asked a quantum physicist how he was feeling. He said, 'I’m in a superposition of emotions!'
Did you hear about the guy who got lost in a quantum physics lab? He couldn’t find his way out of the uncertainty principle.
Why are quantum physicists so good at math? Because they always find the right angle!
I wanted to make a joke about quantum entanglement, but it got tangled up.
Why did the quantum physicist bring a suitcase to work? He wanted to travel in style!
I told my friend I’d make a quantum pun. He said, 'Just make sure it’s not too uncertain.'
What do quantum physicists eat for lunch? A wave sandwich!
I asked my quantum physics teacher how he stays calm. He said, 'I just go with the flow!'
Why did the quantum physicist refuse to play cards? Because he couldn’t deal with the uncertainty!
What did the photon say when asked if it needed to rest? 'No, I’m always on the move!'
Why do quantum physicists love music? Because they appreciate the waveforms!
I asked a quantum physicist if he liked playing chess. He said, 'Only when I can play in multiple realities!'
Why was the quantum physicist always calm? Because he was always in a state of flux!
I told my friend I was studying quantum physics. He said, 'Sounds like a wave of fun!'
Why did the electron go to school? To get a little more charge!
What do quantum physicists say when they’re happy? 'I’m in my own universe!'
Why was the quantum physicist great at relationships? He understood the importance of entanglement!

Astrophysics

Why did the star break up with the galaxy? Because it needed space!
I tried to make a pun about black holes, but it just sucked the life out of the conversation.
What do you call a comet that tells jokes? A joke-omet!
I wanted to be an astrophysicist, but I found it too out of this world.
Why did the astronaut bring a pencil on his journey? In case he needed to draw a constellation!
I told my friend that I’m studying astrophysics. He said, 'That sounds stellar!'
Why don’t astronomers ever get lost? Because they always know their way around the stars!
I asked my astrophysicist friend if he believed in love at first sight. He said, 'Only if it’s gravitational!'
What did Jupiter say to Saturn? 'I like your rings!'
Why did the sun go to school? To get a little brighter!
My favorite subject is astrophysics; it really lifts me up!
What do you call a planet that tells jokes? A pun-derful world!
Why did the meteorologist study astrophysics? He wanted to learn about the stars in the sky!
I told my friend I was going to the observatory. He said, 'Sounds like a star-studded event!'
Why did the black hole get invited to all the parties? Because it really knows how to pull people in!
What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of the computer? The space bar!
I wanted to tell a joke about distant galaxies, but it was too far out.
What did the astrophysicist say to the nebula? 'You’re looking quite colorful today!'
Why did the rocket break up with its girlfriend? She needed too much space!
What do you call a star that loves to dance? A twinkle-toes!
I asked my astrophysics professor how he stays so grounded. He said, 'I’m always orbiting around!'

Electromagnetism

Why did the electron break up with the neutron? There was no charge!
I told my friend I was studying electromagnetism. He said, 'Sounds like a shocking experience!'
What do you call an electric eel that tells jokes? A current comedian!
I wanted to make a pun about magnets, but it just wouldn’t stick.
Why did the circuit go to therapy? It had too many emotional currents!
What do you call a magnet that’s good at math? A positive influence!
Why did the light bulb go to school? To get a little brighter!
I tried to give up electricity, but I couldn’t resist the current!
What do you call a group of musical magnets? A magnetic band!
Why are electricians so good at their jobs? They know how to conduct themselves!
I told my friend that I’m studying electromagnetism. He said, 'That’s electrifying!'
What did the capacitor say to the inductor? 'I’m charged up for today!'
I wanted to make a joke about electricity, but it sparked too much controversy.
What do you call a magnet that’s always happy? A cheerful pole!
Why did the power line break up with the telephone line? There was too much static!
What’s an electrician’s favorite game? Current events!
I asked my electromagnetism teacher how he stays grounded. He said, 'I always keep my cool!'
Why did the battery go to school? To get a little charged up!
What’s a magnetic field’s favorite type of music? Heavy metal!
I wanted to tell a joke about electrical circuits, but it just didn’t connect.
Why do magnets never get lost? Because they always know how to find their way back!