Orchestra Puns

String Instruments

I can't believe it’s not viola!
Why did the cello break up with the violin? It found someone more bass-ic.
I'm feeling a little stringy today.
What did the string say to the bow? 'You really know how to pull my strings!'
Why did the musician bring a ladder? To reach the high notes!
Cellists are just a bit cello-ss.
Strings attached? Only if they’re on my violin!
I've got a string of bad puns.
Violinists are always in tune with their emotions.
I tried to string together a good joke, but it just fell flat.
A violinist’s favorite type of candy? Fiddler's Fudge!
What do you call a string player who breaks up? A solo artist.
I told my friend I was going to string them along. They didn’t take it lightly!
Why did the musician get kicked out of school? Too many strings attached!
I always feel like I’m being strung along when I listen to orchestras.
It’s hard to find the right string for every occasion.
A great performance always has its ups and downs... just like a string.
I got into a row with a string player. We had a real tension!
String players really know how to bow down to their audience.
Why are string instruments good at making decisions? They can always find the right pitch!
What do you call a string player who tells bad jokes? A pun-derful musician!

I heard the trombone is the best at blowing its own trumpet!
Why did the trumpet player get kicked out? He couldn’t handle the brass.
What do you call a brass player in a suit? A polished performer!
I’m really going to blow you away with my brass puns!
Why are trumpets so good at telling secrets? They know how to keep it under wraps.
I’m feeling a little brass-y today.
What did the tuba say to the trumpet? 'You’re just too high-strung!'
Did you hear about the brass band that got lost? They really couldn’t find their way back to the roots.
Why did the French horn always get the last word? It’s a little horn-y!
I tried to play my trombone, but it just slid away!
What’s a brass player’s favorite exercise? Blowing hot and cold!
Why are brass players great at parties? They know how to make a big entrance!
When life gives you lemons, just brass it up!
Why did the brass section always win? They had great instruments of persuasion.
What do you call a trumpet player who can’t play the right notes? A brass failure!
Brass players never get tired; they just get re-tuned!
What do you call a group of brass musicians? A brass-tastic ensemble!
Why did the tuba break up with the trumpet? Too much blowback!
I told my friend to brass up and be confident!
Why do brass instruments make such great friends? They always know when to blow off steam!
What do you call a really loud brass band? A noise pollution!

Why did the clarinet break up with the flute? Too many woodwind issues.
What do you call a woodwind player who can’t stop talking? A babble flute!
I'm feeling a little reed-y today!
Why don’t woodwind players ever get lost? They always follow their breath!
What did the oboe say to the clarinet? 'You’re really blowing me away!'
Why do woodwinds make great detectives? They always get to the root of the problem.
What do you call a saxophonist who tells bad jokes? A pun-derful player!
I tried to play the flute, but I just couldn’t find my wind!
Why are woodwind players so good at math? They know how to measure their breaths!
What do you call a lazy flute? A toot-and-snooze!
Why did the bassoon join a gym? It wanted to get in shape for the next pitch!
I asked the clarinet how it felt. It said, 'Just reed between the lines.'
What did the flute say to the trumpet? 'You’re all about that brass, aren’t you?'
Why did the woodwind section always win? They had all the right notes!
I think I’m falling for woodwinds; it’s all just a breeze!
What do you call a woodwind musician who can’t find their way? A lost reed!
I told my friend to flute me a favor!
Why did the woodwind player get kicked out? They were too high-pitched!
What’s a woodwind player’s favorite game? Reed-venture!
I tried to catch a woodwind player’s attention, but they were too busy blowing off steam.
What do you call a group of woodwinds? A reed-iculous ensemble!

I’m just going to drum up some fun!
Why did the drummer bring a ladder? To reach the high notes!
What do you call a percussionist who can’t keep a rhythm? A beat dropper!
I told my friend I was going to tap dance... they just rolled their eyes.
Why did the cymbal break up with the drum? Too much crashing!
I have a lot of respect for percussionists; they always keep it in tempo!
What do you call a drum that tells jokes? A pun-derful percussion!
When life gets tough, just keep drumming up positivity!
Why do percussionists always get invited to parties? They know how to hit the right notes!
What do you call a percussionist who can’t play? A beatless wonder!
I tried to start a band with my pots and pans... but it just didn’t have the right rhythm!
Why are drummers great at building? They really know how to hammer things out!
What do you call a quiet drummer? A drum roll!
I asked the percussionist why they were always late; they said they were just beating around the bush.
Why did the tambourine get kicked out? It was too jingly!
I told my friends I’d beat the odds... they just laughed!
What do you call a drummer with half a brain? Gifted!
Why did the percussionist break up? They couldn’t find common ground!
What’s a percussionist’s favorite fruit? A drumstick!
I tried to make a joke about drums, but it fell flat!
What do you call a percussion section that tells jokes? A pun-derful ensemble!

Why did the conductor break up with the orchestra? They just couldn't find common time!
What do you call a conductor who can’t stop talking? A baton chatter!
I’m just going to conduct myself with dignity!
Why did the conductor always carry a pencil? To draw attention!
What did the orchestra say to the conductor? 'You really know how to lead us!'
Why are conductors great at parties? They know how to get everyone in sync!
I told my friend they should become a conductor; they really have a knack for leading!
What do you call a conductor who tells bad jokes? A pun-ductor!
Why did the conductor always win arguments? They had the final say!
What do you call a conductor who loves to cook? A baton chef!
What’s a conductor’s favorite game? Lead the way!
I asked the conductor for a tip; they said, 'Just follow my lead!'
Why did the conductor get kicked out? Too much baton swinging!
I think I’m falling for conducting; it’s all just a wave!
What do you call a conductor who can’t find their way? A lost baton!
I told my friend they should conduct themselves better!
Why do conductors make great friends? They always know how to keep the harmony!
What do you call a conductor at the beach? A wave master!
I tried to start a band with my friends, but we couldn’t find a conductor!
What do you call a conductor who tells great stories? A leading narrator!
Why did the conductor bring a suitcase? They were ready for a grand tour!