Office Puns

Meetings

I told my boss I needed a raise, but he said I was already at 'peak performance'.
Why did the calendar apply for a job? It wanted to make some dates.
I had a meeting with my coffee. It was a latte to discuss.
When my boss asked if I could help with an urgent meeting, I said, 'I'm all ears!'
Why did the employee bring a ladder to the meeting? To reach new heights.
My team is like a broken pencil; pointless meetings everywhere!
I asked my boss if I could skip the meeting because I had a 'prior engagement'... with my bed.
Why did the scarecrow become a successful manager? Because he was outstanding in his field.
I told my coworkers I was starting a band called '1023MB'... but we haven't gotten a gig yet.
I tried to organize a hide and seek contest at work, but it was just too hard to find good employees!
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, even meeting agendas!
I brought a rubber band to the meeting. I thought it might help us stretch our ideas!
The meeting was so boring, I started taking minutes... literally.
My boss said we should think outside the box, so I brought a box cutter.
What do you call it when you’re late to a meeting? A ‘time crunch’!
I suggested a team-building exercise, but my boss said we should stick to our 'day job'.
Why did the employee get locked out of their meeting? They lost their 'key' points.
I told my coworker to stop acting like a flamingo, but they insisted they were just trying to stand out in the meeting.
I’m on a seafood diet during meetings. I see food, and I eat it!
Why did the computer go to the meeting? It wanted to get some input!
The only thing worse than a Monday meeting is a Monday morning meeting.

Office Supplies

I told the stapler it was my favorite office supply. It really holds things together!
What did the paper say to the printer? 'Stop making me feel so papered down!'
Why did the pencil break up with the pen? It found someone more graphically appealing.
I brought my calculator to the office party. It’s always good at multiplying the fun!
My sticky notes are like my friends; they always lift me up when I’m feeling down.
When my pen ran out of ink, I told it to 'ink-vestigate' the problem!
Why did the paperclip apply for a job? It wanted to get 'attached' to something new.
I asked my ruler to measure my happiness. It said, 'You can’t quantify that!'
What do you call a pencil that tells jokes? A 'pun-cil'!
My office chair is so comfortable; it really knows how to 'support' me!
Why did the folder apply for a promotion? It wanted to take on more 'file'd responsibilities.
I gave my stapler a compliment, and now it’s feeling 'staple'!
What did the ink say to the paper? 'You complete me!'
Why did the tape break up with the glue? It found someone less clingy.
I told my highlighter to stop being so bright; it was 'highlighting' all my mistakes!
I asked the desk why it was so sturdy. It said, 'I have a lot of support!'
When my calculator got a new battery, it said, 'I feel 'charged' up!'
Why do office supplies never get lost? Because they always have a 'binder' to stick together!
I told my scissors to cut it out, and they just laughed it off.
What do you call a group of office supplies that sing together? A 'stationary choir'!
I tried to organize my desk, but it just ended up in a 'mess-terpiece'.

Work-Life Balance

I always strive for a work-life balance; it’s like walking a tightrope... with coffee!
What do you call a day off at work? A 'paws' for celebration!
I told my boss I needed a vacation, but he said I should just take a 'mental health day'... every day!
Why did the employee bring a hammock to work? To really relax during the 'break' time!
My work-life balance is like a seesaw; it goes up and down, but I always try to stay seated!
Why did the employee go to therapy? They had too many 'work issues'!
I told my coworker I was going to start meditating. They said, 'Good luck finding your 'inner peace' amidst the chaos!'
What do you call a boss who encourages work-life balance? A 'fun-ager'!
I tried to take a break, but my computer said, 'You can’t escape; I’m always watching!'
Why did the worker bring a yoga mat to the office? To stretch their limits!
What’s an office worker’s favorite type of music? 'Chill' beats!
I told my boss I wanted to work smarter, not harder. He said, 'Good luck with that!'
Why don’t office workers play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when your boss is always seeking!
I asked my coworker how they balance work and life. They said, 'I just wing it!'
What do you call it when you work from home? A 'remote possibility'!
I told my friend I was going to work less and enjoy life more. They said, 'That’s a 'great escape' plan!'
Why do office workers love weekends? They get to 'clock out' of reality!
I tried to schedule more time for myself, but my calendar said, 'You’re booked!'
My boss told me to take it easy, but I thought, 'Isn’t that what lunch breaks are for?'
What do you call a workaholic trying to relax? A 'stress-istant'!
Why did the employee bring a beach ball to work? To lighten the 'work load'!

Office Humor

Why did the computer go to therapy? It had too many 'bytes' of stress!
What did the office chair say to the desk? 'You really know how to hold me up!'
I told my coworkers to stop playing hide and seek. They said they were just 'working on their stealth skills'!
Why did the employee bring a ladder to work? They heard the job had 'high expectations'!
My boss told me to dress for the job I want, so I came dressed as a millionaire!
Why did the stapler break up with the tape? It found it too 'sticky'!
What do you call an office that’s always busy? A 'hive' of activity!
Why don’t we ever tell secrets in the office? Because the desk has ears!
I told my coworkers to 'stay positive,' and they said, 'We can't; we’re all negative!'
Why did the printer break up with the paper? It couldn’t handle the 'pressure'!
What do you call a lazy employee? A 'pro-crastinator'!
Why did the office worker bring a pencil to the meeting? To draw some conclusions!
What do you call a sarcastic employee? A 'quipster'!
I told my boss I needed a raise; he said, 'You’re raising my blood pressure!'
Why do office workers love coffee? It helps them espresso themselves!
I asked my coworker for help, and they said, 'I’ll pencil you in!'
Why did the calendar apply for a job? It wanted to make some days!
I told my friend I was working late. They said, 'That's not a surprise; you're always on 'overtime'!'
Why did the employee bring a pillow to work? They wanted to 'rest their case'!
What do you call it when you forget to turn in your report? A 'file-al' error!
Why did the office plant file a complaint? It felt 'over-watered'!

Productivity

I wanted to be productive today, but my to-do list turned into a 'to-don't' list.
Why did the employee bring a broom to work? They wanted to 'sweep' through their tasks!
I told my boss I was multitasking. He said, 'You mean you’re just 'tasking' poorly!'
What do you call a productive day? A 'work of art'!
I tried to prioritize my tasks, but they all seemed to 'weigh me down'!
Why do productivity apps love yoga? They help with 'flexibility'!
I asked my coworker how to stay productive. They said, 'Just keep your eyes on the prize!'
What do you call a team that works well together? A 'well-oiled machine'!
Why did the employee bring a calculator to the meeting? They wanted to count their blessings!
I told my team to think outside the box. They said, 'We can’t; we’re too busy in here!'
What’s an office worker’s favorite exercise? Jumping to conclusions!
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged during a 'productivity break'!
I tried to break my procrastination habit, but I just couldn't 'commit'!
What do you call a meeting that could have been an email? A 'waste of time' session!
Why did the employee take a ladder to work? To reach their 'goals'!
I told my colleague to stop daydreaming, but they said they were just 'visioning' the future!
What’s the best way to stay productive? By 'taking it one step at a time'!
Why did the office worker start a garden? They wanted to 'grow' their productivity!
I tried to motivate my team, but they said they were 'already on the verge of burnout'!
What do you call a well-organized office? A 'neat freak' haven!
I told my boss I was on a roll. He said, 'Just don’t roll out of control!'