Nostalgic Puns

Childhood Memories

I'm reading a book on anti-gravity; it's impossible to put down!
Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Because it was stuffed!
I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won't stop sending me to 'byte' camp.
What did the playground say to the slide? You're a real roller coaster of emotions!
The crayons went on strike; they wanted a little more color in their lives.
Why did the cookie cry? Because his mom was a wafer too long!
I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved!
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia. She whispered, 'They're right behind you.'
Why are ghosts bad liars? Because you can see right through them!
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese!
I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
A will is a dead giveaway.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised!
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already!
Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open!
What do you call a factory that makes good products? A satisfactory!
I wanted to be a chef, but I couldn’t make the cut.
Why did the musician break up with their metronome? They found it too controlling!
What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!
How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
I once got into a fight with a broken elevator. I took it to another level!
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!
What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner!
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged!
How do you organize a space party? You planet!
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
Why are elevator jokes so good? They work on many levels!
I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
I'm reading a book on anti-gravity; it's impossible to put down!
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!

Why did the smartphone go to school? It wanted to improve its texting skills!
My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing!
Why did the computer go to therapy? It had too many bytes!
I told my computer I needed a break; it froze!
What do you call a computer that sings? A Dell!
Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open!
I tried to catch fog yesterday. Mist!
Why did the developer go broke? Because he used up all his cache!
What do you get when you cross a computer and a lifeguard? A screensaver!
Why did the smartphone need glasses? It lost its contacts!
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity; it's impossible to put down!
Why was the cell phone wearing glasses? Because it lost its contacts!
How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it!
What did the computer do at lunchtime? Had a byte!
Why did the computer keep freezing? It left its Windows open!
What do you call a computer superhero? A screen saver!
Why did the tablet go to school? To improve its 'app-titude'!
What do you call a computer that can sing? A Dell!
Why was the keyboard so cold? It left its keys out!
Why did the smartphone break up with the laptop? It found someone more 'app'ealing!
Why did the printer get into a fight? It couldn't find its ink!

Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already!
Why did the belt get arrested? For holding up a pair of pants!
Why did the fashion designer break up with their partner? They wanted to change their style!
I wanted to be a tailor, but I didn't have the right material.
What do you call a fashionable potato? A trendy tuber!
Why did the shoe go to school? To improve its sole!
What do you call a hat that can do magic? A cap-tivating magician!
Why did the sweater break up with the scarf? It found it too knotty!
Why was the belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants!
What do you call a fashionable fish? A shoal model!
Why did the jeans go to therapy? They had too many emotional pockets!
What did the scarf say to the hat? You go on ahead, I’ll hang around!
Why did the dress get kicked out of the party? It was too revealing!
What do you call a trendy dinosaur? A dino-mite fashionista!
Why did the sock get lost? Because it couldn’t find its sole mate!
What did one fashionable shoe say to the other? You’re looking sole-ful today!
Why did the shirt go to school? To get a little smarter!
What do you call a fashionable cat? A purr-fectly styled feline!
I used to be a tailor, but I couldn’t make enough seams!