Legislation Puns

Law and Order

I wanted to become a lawyer, but I couldn't pass the bar exam.
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue the calendar? He lost his case!
Why did the judge go to art school? To learn how to draw conclusions.
I told my lawyer a bad joke, but he said it was a 'legal' pun.
Lawyers are like software. They both need debugging!
I asked my lawyer for a loan, but he said interest is illegal.
Why don't lawyers play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when they have all the legal documents.
I'm reading a book on anti-gravity law. It’s impossible to put down!
Why did the lawyer break up with their partner? They found them to be 'unreasonable'!
Why do lawyers wear suits? Because they want to 'appear' professional!
What do you call a lawyer who doesn’t chase ambulances? Retired.
Lawyers are like fine wine. They get better with age and often cost a lot!
Did you hear about the lawyer who slept through his trial? He was 'sued' for negligence!
I asked my lawyer for advice on my diet. He said to avoid 'case' of the munchies.
Why did the lawyer go broke? Because he lost his case!
I can’t trust my lawyer; they always seem to 'bill' me for extra hours.
My lawyer told me to file for bankruptcy. I guess he thinks I’m 'insolvent'!
How do lawyers say goodbye? They say, 'I'll be 'back' with more evidence!'
Why did the lawyer stand on the roof? To get a better perspective on the case!
What’s a lawyer’s favorite game? 'Truth or lawsuit'!
Why did the lawyer stay calm during the storm? They always know how to weather a 'case'!

Legalize It

I told my lawyer I wanted to 'legalize' my feelings, but they said it’s not that simple.
Why did the cannabis plant apply for a job? It wanted to get 'legalized'!
I tried to start a petition for 'legalized' pizza, but it was a cheesy idea.
My friend wants to 'legalize' more vacations. I told them to file a bill!
Why do lawyers love 'legalizing' things? It's their 'case' of the Mondays!
I thought about 'legalizing' my cat, but it turns out they’re already a 'purr'fect pet.
What did the lawyer say when asked about 'legalizing' sports betting? 'It’s a game of chance!'
Why don’t lawyers play cards? Because they can’t 'legalize' bluffing!
My lawyer said I should 'legalize' my dreams. I think they want to take me to court over them!
I wanted to 'legalize' my hobbies, but they were already 'unlawful' fun!
What do you call it when a lawyer advocates for 'legalizing' desserts? A sweet case!
I tried to 'legalize' my fear of heights, but it just escalated!
Why did the lawyer start a gardening business? To 'legalize' some green!
I wanted to 'legalize' my friendship, but my lawyer said it needs a contract!
What’s a lawyer’s favorite herb? 'Legal' basil!
I thought about 'legalizing' my jokes, but they’re too punny to be taken seriously!
Why did the lawyer write a book about 'legalizing' fun? They wanted to make a 'case' for laughter!
My lawyer said 'legalizing' my fears is a step in the right direction. I said, 'Let’s file that!'
What do you call it when a lawyer 'legalizes' a party? A 'case' of fun!
Why did the lawyer want to 'legalize' the beach? They said it has great 'appeal'!
I asked my lawyer about 'legalizing' happiness. They said it’s already approved!

Criminal Minds

Why did the criminal go to law school? To learn how to 'escape' the system!
I told my lawyer I had a criminal past. They said, 'Don't worry, we can 'plea' bargain!'
Why do criminals make terrible comedians? They can’t 'deliver' the punchline!
What do you call it when a criminal gets caught? A 'con' sequence!
Why did the criminal bring a ladder to court? To reach the 'higher' court!
I wanted to be a criminal lawyer, but I couldn't take the pressure of the 'case'!
Why did the thief take a bath before his trial? He wanted to make a 'clean getaway'!
I asked my lawyer how to avoid prison. They said, 'Stay 'out' of trouble!'
What’s a criminal’s favorite game? 'Hide and 'sneak'!
Why did the criminal keep a diary? To write down their 'con'fessions!
I tried to join a criminal organization, but they said I had to 'apply' first!
Why did the criminal get kicked out of school? For 'breaking' the rules!
What do you call a criminal who’s also a musician? A 'bandit'!
I wanted to start a criminal podcast, but my lawyer said it’s too 'risky'!
Why did the criminal go broke? Because they spent all their 'dime' on defense!
What’s a criminal’s favorite type of music? 'Rob' & roll!
I tried to give advice to a criminal; they said I was 'crossing' the line!
Why did the criminal bring a suitcase to court? They were 'packed' with excuses!
I told my lawyer a joke about criminals. They said it was 'unlawful' humor!
What’s a criminal’s favorite holiday? 'Steal'oween!
Why did the criminal get a job at the bakery? They were great at 'con'fections!

Judicial Humor

Why did the judge bring a pencil to court? To draw their conclusions!
What did the judge say to the defendant? 'You’re 'guilty' of being too funny!'
Why are judges so good at comedy? They always deliver the 'sentence'!
I told my judge a pun about law, and they said, 'This is a 'court'-ious joke!'
Why did the judge go to therapy? They had too many 'cases' to handle!
What do you call a judge with a sense of humor? A 'laughing' magistrate!
I asked my judge for advice on puns. They said, 'Just 'rule' with it!'
Why did the judge wear glasses? To improve their 'court' vision!
What do you call it when a judge tells a joke? A 'court'-room comedy!
I wanted to be a judge, but I couldn't handle the 'pressure of the case'!
Why did the judge become a chef? They wanted to serve 'justice' on a plate!
What’s a judge’s favorite type of music? 'Court' music!
I told my judge about my bad day. They said, 'You need a 'trial' of laughter!'
How do judges stay fit? They do 'court' workouts!
I asked my judge for a joke. They said, 'Only if it’s 'pun'-derful!'
What do you call a judge who can sing? A 'court'-inist!
Why do judges love coffee? Because it helps them 'rule' the day!
What did the judge say to the lawyer with a bad joke? 'That's a 'sentence' I can't bear!'
How does a judge greet their friends? 'Court-ial greetings!'
What’s a judge’s favorite dessert? 'Justice' cream!
Why did the judge bring a ladder to court? To reach a 'higher' verdict!

Constitutional Chaos

Why did the Constitution go to school? To improve its 'amendments'!
What do you call a constitutional lawyer with a sense of humor? A 'pun'-stitutionalist!
Why was the Constitution always calm? It knew how to 'handle' its rights!
What did the Constitution say to the Bill of Rights? 'You complete me!'
Why did the framers of the Constitution love puns? They were all about 'word play'!
I tried to rewrite the Constitution as a comedy, but it was too 'serious'!
What do you call it when the Constitution tells a joke? A 'punstitution'!
Why did the Constitution get into politics? It wanted to 'amend' the situation!
What’s a constitutional scholar’s favorite drink? 'Amend-mint' tea!
I asked my Constitution why it was so popular. It said, 'I have 'rights'!'
What do you call a constitutional crisis? A 'pun-demonium'!
Why did the Constitution refuse to play poker? It couldn't handle the 'bluff'!
What’s a constitutional lawyer’s favorite game? 'Rights and wrongs'!
Why did the Constitution break up with the King? It wanted 'freedom'!
I told my Constitution it was funny. It said, 'I'm just 'right'!'
What do you call a constitutional debate? A 'pun-stitutional' discussion!
Why did the Constitution go to therapy? It had too many 'amendments' to work through!
What’s a constitutional scholar’s favorite sport? 'Rights'-ball!
Why did the Constitution apply for a job? It wanted to make a 'living'!
What do you call it when the Constitution makes a pun? A 'constitutional quip'!
Why did the Constitution refuse to go to the beach? It didn’t want to get 'drafted'!