Learning Puns

School Subjects

I told my math book it had too many problems.
English teachers have a lot of class.
Why was the history teacher always calm? Because he had a lot of past experience.
Biology teachers are great at cell division.
Chemistry teachers have all the right solutions.
Geography teachers are always on the map.
Physics teachers are good at keeping things in motion.
I wanted to be a doctor, but I couldn't get past my biology class... it was just too much pressure.
Why did the music teacher go to jail? Because she got caught with too many notes.
Art teachers always draw a crowd.
The physics teacher couldn’t find his way home; he lost his direction.
Why did the computer science teacher break up with their partner? They had too many bytes.
The literature class was so good, it was hard to put down.
My geography teacher said the world was a stage, but I didn’t see any actors.
I asked my science teacher if I could do an experiment, and she said, 'Sure, but don’t blow it!'
Why are history teachers great storytellers? They always have the best tales.
The music theory class was so harmonious.
Why did the math teacher break up with the calculator? It couldn’t handle her problems.
Why did the art student always carry a pencil? He wanted to draw attention.
The biology class was so lively, it was electrifying!
I didn't know what to do with my history lesson, so I just went with the flow.

I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.
I would tell you a joke about an elevator, but it's an uplifting experience.
I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
The bicycle couldn't stand up by itself; it was two-tired.
I don't trust stairs because they're always up to something.
I wanted to be a professional skateboarder, but I couldn't get a grip.
I tried to catch fog yesterday. Mist.
I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off!
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
I told my friend 10 jokes to make him laugh. Sadly, no pun in ten did.
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
I just found out I'm colorblind. The news came out of the purple.
I would tell you a joke about a pencil, but it’s pointless.
I used to have a job as a professional cricket player, but I found it hard to keep my balance.
What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
I used to be a shoe salesman, but I just couldn't get a foot in the door.
The guy who invented Lifesavers candy made it so people can have a sweet escape.

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they’d be bagels.
I used to be a cat burglar, but I had to give it up; I couldn't find the right purr-suit.
What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
Why did the cow go to space? To see the moooon!
Why couldn't the leopard hide? Because he was always spotted.
I’d tell you a joke about a duck, but it’s just too quack-tastic.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog? Frostbite.
I wanted to be a veterinarian, but I couldn’t find the right animal to treat.
What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam!
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well-armed.
I told my dog to play dead, but he just couldn’t get the hang of it.
Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks.
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry.
Why are cats good at video games? Because they have nine lives.
Why did the frog take the bus to work? His car got toad away!
I had a pet snail, but I couldn’t find a shell big enough for him.
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
Why did the horse go behind the tree? Because he wanted to change his jockeys.
Why do elephants never use computers? They’re afraid of the mouse.

I’ve got my PhD in puns. It’s a pun-derful achievement!
Why are chemists excellent for solving problems? They have all the solutions.
I wanted to learn about electricity, but I was shocked by the curriculum.
Why can’t you trust an atom? Because they make up everything!
I used to be a programmer, but I couldn’t get a byte.
What did the scientist say when he found two isotopes of helium? HeHe!
I told my computer I needed a break, and it froze.
Why did the computer go to therapy? It had too many bytes!
Why was the equal sign so humble? Because it realized it wasn’t less than or greater than anyone else.
Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher? There was no chemistry.
What do you call an educated tube? A graduated cylinder!
How does a scientist freshen her breath? With experi-mints!
Why did the biology book look so sad? It had too many issues.
What did one ion say to another? I’ve got my ion you!
Why are parallel lines so scandalous? They never meet!
I wanted to be a physics teacher, but I couldn’t pass the tests; they were too tough.
What did the scientist wear to impress their date? Designer genes!
Why did the computer keep freezing? It left its Windows open.
Why was the math book unhappy? It had too many problems.
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
Why did the robot go on a diet? It had too many bytes!