Hygiene Puns

Dental Hygiene

I told my dentist I wanted a clean slate, so he gave me a filling.
Flossing is like a relationship; you have to work at it to keep it strong.
Why did the toothbrush cross the road? To get to the other plaque.
My dentist said I need a crown. I said, 'I know, right?'
You can always count on your teeth to be there for you, they’re the real molar support.
Brushing twice a day keeps the cavities away, but it sure doesn’t keep the bad breath at bay!
I asked my dentist for a date, but he said he's already booked.
The dentist always knows how to make a clean exit.
I didn't get my teeth cleaned last week, but I still feel the plaque-tic pain.
When my toothbrush broke, I was really bristled.
Never tell a dentist you’re flossing when you’re really just faking it.
I wanted to become a dentist, but I just couldn't handle the pressure.
My dentist is great, he always gives me a toothy smile.
Why did the dentist start a gardening business? He wanted to brush up on his skills.
When my dentist retires, I hope he has a plaque in his honor.
I told my dentist I wanted whiter teeth, and he suggested I brush up on my skills.
I didn’t like my dentist at first, but he really grew on me – like plaque.
I told my dentist I have a sweet tooth. He said, 'Stop biting off more than you can chew!'
If you want to find a good dentist, just follow the gumdrops.
Why do dentists always carry a pencil? In case they need to draw some floss!
Brushing my teeth is a brush with greatness!

Personal Hygiene

I tried to make a soap pun, but it was too lathered.
Why did the soap always feel clean? Because it had a good wash of confidence.
I told my friend I was getting a shower. He said, 'You really should clean up your act!'
I’m not a germaphobe; I just really enjoy my personal space!
What did one bar of soap say to the other? 'You crack me up!'
I’ve been taking hygiene tips from my dog; he’s always so pawsitively clean!
Why did the shampoo go to art school? It wanted to learn how to draw a better lather.
I never trust soap; it always seems to be so slippery.
I tried a new deodorant called 'Confidence' but it just left me feeling a bit underarm.
Why do towels always get invited to parties? Because they’re great at drying out the situation!
I don’t always wash my hands, but when I do, I make sure to soap it up!
My soap has a personality; it’s quite bubbly!
Why did the toothbrush break up with the toothpaste? They just couldn’t find common ground.
I asked my friend why he was always so clean. He said, 'It's a rinse and repeat kind of life.'
I told my mom I was going to take a bath, and she said, 'You deserve a good soak!'
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom!
If cleanliness is next to godliness, then I must be a saint!
I can’t find my soap; it’s hiding in a sudsy situation.
Why did the deodorant apply for a job? It wanted to get to the next level of freshness!
I always carry hand sanitizer; you never know when a germ will pop up!
I told my friend I was taking a bubble bath, and he said, 'Sounds like a bubbly personality!'

Food Hygiene

I asked the chef how to keep food safe, he said to always follow the thyme!
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
Food hygiene is no joke; you have to take it seriously or you might get a real pickle.
I told my friend to wash his hands before cooking, but he said he was a 'hands-off' chef.
Why did the chef get kicked out of the kitchen? He was too saucy!
I always keep my kitchen clean; it’s my bread and butter.
Why was the kitchen so clean? Because it had a lot of ‘soap-er’ powers!
You know you’re a good cook when you can whisk it all!
I told my friend to keep an eye on the chicken, but he said it was too clucky!
Food hygiene is important; you don’t want to be caught with your pants down… or your hands dirty!
I like to use fresh ingredients; they really make my hygiene stand out.
Why did the cucumber get a promotion? It was always cool under pressure!
I asked the chef why he was always so clean, he said, 'It’s all about keeping it fresh!'
I tried to cook without cleaning, but it left me in a pickle!
What do you call a clean kitchen? A dish-tastic place!
I told my friend I was going to sanitize my kitchen, he said, 'That’s the spirit!'
I used to be a messy cook, but now I’m a clean-cut chef!
Food hygiene is like a good recipe; it takes time to perfect.
Why did the food refuse to get dirty? Because it was too well-behaved!
If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen… and clean it!
I’m on a strict hygiene diet; it’s all about clean eating!

Hand Hygiene

I always wash my hands before eating; it’s the ‘grubby’ way!
What did one hand say to the other? 'You’re looking clean today!'
I told my friend to wash his hands after using the restroom; he said he didn’t want to go 'hands-on.'
Why do hands never get lost? Because they always know how to find their way to soap!
I tried to shake hands with a germaphobe, but he politely declined.
My hands are always clean; they just can’t stop washing their hands!
What do you call a hand that doesn’t wash? A dirty palm!
I told my friend I was going to wash my hands before dinner; he said that’s the way to 'clean' up!
I always carry hand sanitizer; it’s my ‘clean’ partner in crime.
Why did the hand sanitizer go to school? To get a little ‘rubbing’ up on hygiene!
I told my mom I was washing my hands, and she said, 'That’s the spirit!'
I love a good hand wash; it really gives me a fresh start!
My hands are so clean, they could be on the cover of a hygiene magazine!
Why did the hand get a promotion? It always delivered a clean performance!
I asked my friend how to keep his hands clean, he said, 'Just wash your worries away!'
Hand washing is like a great dance; you just have to follow the rhythm!
I told my friend to keep his hands clean, and he said he’s always ready to scrub!
What do you call a hand that loves to wash? A clean freak!
I never shake hands without washing; I like to keep it ‘clean’ business!
Why do hands always get invited to parties? Because they know how to keep it clean!
I’m on a hand hygiene plan; I just can’t stop washing my way to success!

Bathroom Hygiene

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom!
I told my friend I was going to clean the bathroom, he said, 'That’s a throne-worthy task!'
I like to keep my bathroom so clean, it’s like a spa day every day!
What do you call a bathroom that’s always clean? A lavatory of luxury!
I always keep my bathroom supplies organized; it’s my ‘clean’ routine!
Why did the sink break up with the toilet? They just couldn’t handle the pressure!
I asked my friend how to keep the bathroom fresh, he said, 'Just let it air out!'
What did the toilet say to the plunger? 'You really know how to clean up my act!'
I told my dad I was cleaning the bathroom; he said, 'That’s a flush of responsibility!'
I keep my bathroom so tidy, it could win a cleanliness award!
Why did the soap get promoted in the bathroom? It always knew how to lather up the situation!
I told my friend I was going to take a bubble bath, and he said, 'Sounds like a clean getaway!'
My bathroom is so clean, it sparkles like a diamond!
Why do bathrooms always get good ratings? Because they’re always fresh and clean!
I asked my friend how to keep the bathroom smelling nice, he said, 'Just add a little fragrance!'
What do you call a bathroom that’s always in style? A chic lavatory!
I told my friend I was going to clean the toilet; he said, 'That’s a throne job!'
Why do bathrooms make great comedians? They always know how to flush out a good joke!
I like to keep my towels fresh; they really make the bathroom pop!
Why did the toilet apply for a job? It wanted to take care of business!
I always keep my bathroom well-stocked; it’s my clean sanctuary!