Educational Puns

Math Puns

Why was the equal sign so humble? Because it knew it wasn't less than or greater than anyone else.
Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
I’ve got a new theory on inertia, but it doesn’t seem to be gaining momentum.
Why did the student wear glasses in math class? To improve di-vision!
What do you call a number that can't keep still? A roamin' numeral.
I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
My math teacher called me average. How mean!
Are monsters good at math? Not unless you Count Dracula!
I asked the math teacher for help but he said I was just going through a phase.
Why was the obtuse angle so upset? Because it was never right.
What’s the official animal of Pi Day? The Pi-thon.
Why did the two fours skip lunch? Because they already eight!
Math puns are the first sine of madness.
Why did the student break up with the math book? It had too many problems!
What do you get when you cross a math teacher with a clock? Times tables.
Why did the fraction get a divorce? Because it found another fraction more appealing.
What did the student say when he couldn’t find the answer? ‘I’m not pi-ning for anything!’
Why did the math teacher go to the beach? To work on his tan-gent.
How does a mathematician plow fields? With a pro-tractor.
Why should you never argue with a 90-degree angle? It’s always right.
Why did the student bring a ladder to math class? Because he wanted to reach new heights.

Science Puns

What did the biologist wear to impress their date? Designer genes.
I told my friend 10 jokes to get him to laugh. Sadly, no pun in ten did.
How do you organize a space party? You planet!
I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
Why are chemists excellent for solving problems? They have all the solutions.
What do you call an educated tube? A graduated cylinder.
Why did the physics professor break up with the biology professor? There was no chemistry.
What did the scientist say when he found two isotopes of helium? HeHe!
Why can’t you trust an atom? Because they make up everything!
What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
Why did the biologist break up with the physicist? There was no chemistry.
What did the scientist say to the hydrogen atom? I’ve lost an electron! Are you positive?
How does a physicist play hide and seek? He uses a quantum hiding technique!
What’s a physicist’s favorite type of music? Heavy metal.
Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi!
What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder? You have a lot of potential!
Why are chemists great at solving problems? They have all the solutions!
What did one volcano say to the other? I lava you!
What do you call an educated tube? A graduated cylinder.
Why are chemists good for solving problems? They have all the solutions.
How do scientists freshen their breath? With experi-mints.

History Puns

Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, including history!
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised!
Why was the history teacher so good at conversation? He always knew how to break the ice age.
What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
What did the Roman say when he saw the new car? 'Veni, Vidi, Vroom!'
Why did the king go to the dentist? To get his tooth crowned!
I have a joke about time travel, but you didn’t like it.
Why do we tell actors to 'break a leg'? Because every play has a cast!
What was the most popular dance in 1776? The independence shuffle!
I wish I could be a history teacher. That way, I could always be in the past.
Why did the Pharaoh go to school? He wanted to improve his pyramid scheme.
What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight? Sir Render!
Why did the student take a ladder to history class? To reach new heights of knowledge!
What do you call a historical figure who tells tall tales? A myth-ter!
Why was the history book so boring? Because it was full of dates!
What did one ancient Greek philosopher say to the other? 'I think, therefore I am!'
How did the Vikings send secret messages? They used Norse code!
Why was the history teacher always calm? Because he had a lot of past experience!
What do you call a historical figure who plays cards? A poker face!
Why did the history teacher go to jail? Because he was caught with too many dates!

Literature Puns

I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
Why did the librarian get kicked off the plane? Because it was overbooked!
I told my friend 10 jokes to get him to laugh. Sadly, no pun in ten did.
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? A cat has claws at the end of its paws; a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.
Why did Shakespeare only write in ink? Because pencils confused him!
What’s a book’s favorite type of music? Paper rock!
I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off!
Why are books so cold? Because they have too many fans!
What did the poet say to the poet? ‘You’re verse-y nice!’
Why did the English teacher go to jail? For excessive pun-ishment!
What do you call a bad pun about literature? A literary faux pas!
How does a poet say goodbye? 'I’ll be back in a verse!'
Why did the book join the police? It wanted to go undercover!
What did one novel say to the other? 'I’m quite a character!'
Why don’t writers ever get lost? Because they always follow their plot!
What do you call a detective who solves literary crimes? A book sleuth!
Why did the author break up with the manuscript? It had too many issues!
What did the literary critic say to the author? 'You’re really on the write path!'
How do you organize a space party? You planet!
What do you call a group of musical authors? A book band!
Why did the computer break up with the writer? It couldn’t handle all the drama!

Language Puns

I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
Why did the grammar teacher break up with the punctuation teacher? Because she was too possessive!
What do you call an argument between two words? A word war.
Why are words like a family? Because they all have a common root.
What did one thesaurus say to the other? 'I find you quite synonyms!'
Why don’t linguists play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when they can always find your syntax!
How do you organize a space party? You planet!
What do you call a lazy linguist? A couch potato-graphy!
Why did the spelling bee get kicked out of school? For causing too much buzz!
What do you call a word that’s always getting in trouble? A naughty noun!
Why do we tell actors to 'break a leg'? Because every play has a cast!
What did one language learner say to the other? 'You’re quite the polyglot!'
Why did the thesaurus apply for a job? It wanted to find a synonym for success!
What do you call a pun that’s just too much? A pun-derful disaster!
Why don’t writers ever get lost? Because they always follow their plot!
What do you call a poorly written play? A script-astic failure!
Why did the student bring a ladder to language class? To reach new heights in vocabulary!
What’s a linguist’s favorite game? Scrabble!
Why was the dictionary so happy? Because it had all the right definitions!
What did the linguist say to the translator? 'You have a way with words!'
Why did the phonetics teacher get kicked out of the bar? Because he kept accentuating the wrong syllable!