Classroom Puns

Math Puns

I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
Why was the equal sign so humble? Because it knew it wasn’t less than or greater than anyone else.
I have a fear of fractions, but I’m working to overcome it.
Why did the student wear glasses in math class? To improve di-vision.
Math teachers have too many problems.
I heard that mathematicians are afraid of negative numbers. They’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
I’m really good at math, but I can’t seem to get a positive response.
Why do plants hate math? Because it gives them square roots.
I’m trying to be a mathematician, but I keep getting distracted by all the angles.
What do you call a number that can’t keep still? A roamin’ numeral.
Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
What did the student say when he couldn’t find his math book? 'I guess it’s a matter of time.'
Why did the two fours skip lunch? Because they already eight.
Why did the student break up with the math book? It had too many problems.
What’s a math teacher’s favorite place in NYC? Times Square.
What did the zero say to the eight? 'Nice belt!'
Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach? Because it was over 90 degrees!
How do you stay warm in a cold room? Go to the corner; it’s always 90 degrees.
Why did the teacher give the class a math test? Because she wanted to find out who was the brightest.
What did the triangle say to the circle? 'You’re going around in circles!'

Science Puns

Never trust an atom; they make up everything!
What did the biologist wear to impress their date? Designer genes.
I told a chemistry joke, but there was no reaction.
Why can’t you trust an atom? Because they make up literally everything!
What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of helium? HeHe!
If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.
Why did the physicist break up with the biologist? There was no chemistry.
I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
Why did the physicist bring a ladder to class? To reach new heights in learning!
What did the scientist say to the biologist? 'You’re cell-fish!'
How do you organize a space party? You planet!
Why are chemists excellent for solving problems? They have all the solutions.
What do you call an educated tube? A graduated cylinder.
Why do biologists look forward to casual Fridays? They’re allowed to wear genes!
What’s a physicist’s favorite food? Fission chips.
Why are chemists excellent at solving problems? They have all the solutions.
What did the physicist say to the biologist? 'You’re cell-fish!'
What did one ion say to another? 'I’ve got my ion you!'
Why did the biology teacher go on a diet? To get rid of her cell-fies.
What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder? 'You’re looking a little down!'
Why did the biology book look so sad? Because it had too many problems.

Literature Puns

I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
Why did the poet break up with the writer? There were too many stanzas.
I told my friend 10 jokes to make him laugh. Sadly, no pun in ten did.
Why are books always cold? Because they have so many fans.
What do you call a book about gardening? A novel idea!
Why did Shakespeare always write his plays at night? Because he couldn’t find the right light.
How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it!
Why did the librarian get kicked off the plane? Because it was overbooked!
What’s a writer’s favorite type of music? A novel tune!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
What did one book say to the other? 'I’ve got spine!'
Why did the student bring a ladder to class? To reach the high literature!
What do you call a book that’s all about a potato? A mashed potato story!
Why do writers always feel cold? Because they’re surrounded by drafts!
What did the detective say to the writer? 'I have a plot twist for you!'
Why did the student take a pencil to bed? Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
How do you organize a space party? You planet!
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
What do you call a book that’s about a celebrity? A bestseller!
Why do books never get lost? Because they always have a spine to follow!
Why did the poet go to the beach? To catch some verses!

History Puns

I was going to tell a time travel joke, but you didn’t like it.
Why did the history teacher break up with the geography teacher? There was no space between them!
Why was the history teacher so good at baseball? Because he knew how to run the bases!
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, including history!
What’s a historian’s favorite musical? The Sound of Music, because they love a good timeline!
Why did the student bring a map to class? To find their way through history!
I told my friend 10 jokes about history to make him laugh. Sadly, no pun in ten did.
Why was the Roman Empire so good at math? Because they knew how to divide!
What did one historical figure say to the other? 'Let’s make history together!'
Why did the archaeologist break up with his girlfriend? Because she was too into the past!
What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? R, but their first love is the C!
Why did the medieval knight always carry a pencil? Because he wanted to draw his sword!
What do you call a dinosaur that writes? A dino-scribe!
Why did the king go to the dentist? To get his teeth crowned!
Why was the history book so popular? It had lots of good dates!
Why did the French Revolutionaries only drink tea? Because proper tea is theft!
Why was the history teacher always calm? Because he knew how to keep his past in check!
What did the revolutionary soldier say to his friend? 'You’re my right-hand man!'
Why was the medieval knight always so tired? Because he worked knight shifts!
What’s a historical figure’s favorite type of music? Classical, because it has great roots!
Why did the history student bring a ladder to school? To reach new heights of knowledge!

Art Puns

Why was the artist afraid he might go to jail? Because he had a sketchy past!
What do you call a painting of a cat? A purr-trait!
Why did the artist break up with his girlfriend? He just didn’t have the right palette!
What did the art teacher say to the student who couldn’t draw? 'You’re going to have to draw the line somewhere!'
Why are artists bad at playing hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when they’re always drawing attention!
What did the painter say to the canvas? 'You complete me!'
Why did the artist go broke? Because he couldn’t find any decent draws!
What’s an artist’s favorite type of music? A coloratura!
Why did the sculptor break up with his girlfriend? She took him for granite!
What did the painter say to the wall? 'I’ll never take you for granted!'
Why did the artist get kicked out of school? Because he kept drawing on the walls!
What’s an artist’s favorite game? Pictionary!
Why do artists prefer to work at night? Because they love to draw the curtains!
What did the artist say to his critic? 'You’re just a brush with fame!'
Why did the art thief get caught? He had a brush with the law!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta, but an artist is always genuine!
What did the artist say when he finished painting? 'I’m frame-tastically done!'
Why did the artist join the gym? To work on his canvas!
What’s an artist’s favorite dessert? A paint-cake!
Why did the paintbrush feel lonely? Because it couldn’t find its art-mate!
What did the artist say when he was criticized? 'I’m just trying to sketch a better future!'