Chemistry Puns

Acids and Bases

I'm reading a book on anti-gravity; it's impossible to put down!
Did you hear about the guy who got cooled down? He lost his temper!
I told my chemistry joke to an acid, but it didn't react!
Why do chemists like nitrates so much? Because they're cheaper than day rates!
What did the acid say to the base? 'You make me feel neutral!'
I wanted to tell a chemistry joke, but all the good ones Argon!
I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough; now I just make chemical reactions!
Why are chemists excellent at solving problems? They have all the right solutions!
What do you do with a sick chemist? If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium!
Why do chemists enjoy working together? Because they have great bond-ing!
What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of helium? 'HeHe!'
Why did the chemist break up with the biologist? There was no chemistry!
I'm trying to learn chemistry, but I keep getting stuck on the reaction equations!
Did you hear about the chemist who was afraid of the dark? He had a reaction to it!
Why do chemists love nature? Because it's full of organic compounds!
I told my friend I was studying chemistry, and he said, 'Better make sure you don't get burnt out!'
What do you call an educated tube? A graduated cylinder!
I have a chemistry joke, but I can't share it; it might be too reactive!
Why did the chemist go to jail? Because they were caught with too much gas!
What do you call a clown who does chemistry? A silly-ium!
Why did the chemist get kicked off the plane? They kept trying to take off with too many molecules!

Periodic Table

I think I made a bad element; I'm just not stable!
Why did the noble gas break up with the other gases? They just couldn't find a reaction!
Heard about the new restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere!
Why is the periodic table so good at playing hide and seek? Because it always has all the elements!
What do you call a periodic table that tells jokes? A pun-iodic table!
I wanted to be a chemist, but I didn’t have the right elements!
What’s the most common element in the universe? It’s hydrogen—it's just so attractive!
I told my friend that I was a periodic table expert; they said, 'You’re just a little too reactive!'
Why did the chemist make a great musician? Because he had great timing with his elements!
What did one ion say to another? 'I've got my ion you!'
Did you hear about the guy who accidentally made a compound? He had a little too much fun!
Why was the chemist’s lab so crowded? Because everyone wanted to see the periodic table!
What did the hydrogen say to the oxygen? 'Let's bond over some chemistry!'
Why did the chemist always carry a pencil? In case they needed to draw some conclusions!
What did the periodic table say to the comedian? 'You're really good at making reactions!'
What’s a chemist’s favorite type of music? Acid rock!
Why did the element go to school? To improve its bonding skills!
I told my periodic table joke, but it fell flat; it didn’t have enough elements!
What do you call a chemistry teacher who loves to dance? A mol-ecule!
Why are elements so good at relationships? They know how to bond!
What did the chemist say when they found gold? 'Aurum I glad to see you!'

Chemical Reactions

I just made a chemical reaction; it was explosive!
Why does a chemist like to play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding from a reaction!
My last chemical reaction was a gas, but this one is a solid!
What do you call an argument between two molecules? A chemical reaction!
Why are chemical reactions so bad at playing cards? Because they always get too excited!
Did you hear about the chemist's favorite TV show? Breaking Bonds!
I'm really good at chemistry; I have a knack for reactions!
Why did the chemist get kicked out of the party? He kept trying to mix things up!
What do you call a chemical reaction that’s gone bad? A mal-reaction!
Why do chemists love working with reactions? They're always getting involved!
I dated a chemist once; it was a volatile relationship!
What did the chemist say at the end of the party? 'Time to react and split!'
Why do chemists prefer to work at night? Because they get more reactions in the dark!
What do you call an optimistic chemist? A reaction-ary!
Why was the chemist a great comedian? Because they knew how to deliver punchlines!
I tried to make a chemical reaction joke, but it was too complex!
Why did the chemist bring a ladder to the lab? To reach new heights in reactions!
What do you get when you mix a chemist and a magician? A reaction that disappears!
Why are chemical reactions so good at yoga? They know how to stretch their bonds!
What did the chemist say when they finished their experiment? 'That was a reaction worth having!'
Did you hear about the chemist who loves nature? They have great reactions with plants!

Organic Chemistry

I'm a big fan of organic chemistry; it really grows on you!
Why did the organic chemist break up with their partner? They just didn't have enough alkynes!
What do you call an organic chemist who’s great at music? A carbon copy!
Why do organic chemists make good friends? Because they always know how to bond!
I tried to tell an organic chemistry joke, but it was too complex for some!
Why did the organic compound go to therapy? It had too many unresolved issues!
What did the organic chemist say at the party? 'Let’s have some fun-ctional chemistry!'
Why did the organic chemist do well in school? They had great reaction times!
What do you call an organic chemist who loves the outdoors? A nature-lover!
Did you hear about the organic chemist who became a chef? They really knew how to cook up a reaction!
Why do organic chemists excel at sports? They know how to work together!
What did the organic compound say to the solvent? 'You complete me!'
I wanted to be an organic chemist, but I couldn't find the right path!
What did the carbon say to the hydrogen? 'Let's bond and create something special!'
Why was the organic chemist always calm? They knew how to handle their reactions!
What is an organic chemist's favorite game? Carbon Monopoly!
Why do organic chemists love the beach? Because they enjoy getting their tan-ents!
What do you call a romantic organic chemist? A love compound!
Why did the organic molecule go to college? To improve its functional groups!
What did the organic chemist say to the alcohol? 'You're intoxicating!'
I tried to write a pun about organic chemistry, but it fell flat—too many reactions!

Chemical Bonds

Why are chemical bonds like relationships? They require a lot of energy to form!
What did one bond say to the other? 'Are you ready to connect?'
Why did the ionic bond break up? They had too many charges!
What do you call a strong bond? A covalent connection!
Why do bonds make terrible comedians? They can never get the right reaction!
What do you call a bond that can’t stop telling jokes? A pun-covalent!
Why did the bond fail chemistry? It couldn’t find its partner!
What did the carbon say to the oxygen? 'I’m feeling a strong attraction!'
Why did the bond get a job? To pay its dues!
What do you call a bond that loves to argue? A reactive bond!
Why are bonds always so happy? They have great chemistry!
What did the bond say to the atom? 'You're my missing piece!'
Why did the bond go to school? To improve its connecting skills!
What do you call a bond that loves to travel? A roaming bond!
What did the bond say to the electron? 'You complete me!'
Why did the bond go to the therapist? It had some unresolved issues!
What’s a bond’s favorite type of music? Heavy metal!
Why did the bond bring a ladder? To reach new heights in chemistry!
What do you call a bond that loves sports? A team bond!
Why did the bond always carry a pencil? To draw new connections!
What did the bond say when it found its partner? 'Finally, we’re complete!'